Finding Light in the Land of Smiles

When most foreigners think of Thailand (especially Westerners), they usually have many misconceptions about the culture, and do not take time to try to understand it instead of just questioning it. After falling in love with Asia while studying abroad in Kerala, India, and deciding to study in Bangkok afterwards, I have been blessed with the opportunity to study, work, and live in this phenomenal country for one school year. I am finally at the point where when I talk to people, they say, “Pood Thai dai gang mak! Narak!” (“You speak Thai so well! Cute!”). It makes me want to stay and continue to learn about these beautiful people.

Upon making the decision to come here, a lot of the feedback I received was, “See a ping pong show for me!” or “Take pictures with the lady boys!” or “WOW-be careful” with some wide eyes trailing in accompaniment. I am constantly asked by the Thai people why I decided to come here- for most “farang” (foreigners), it is for the party and beach scenes. But, I have always been interested in Thailand’s unique culture food, culture, and cute spirit of nationalism. The degree of trust and emphasis on relationships here has made me question how I can be a better person towards others in my daily life. Thai people are often very shy with people that they don’t know, because there is a much greater emphasis on trusting and getting to know people than in many Western cultures, and often people value their friends and family much more.

While studying at Mahidol University International College (MUIC), I have also been volunteering as an English teacher at a local tutoring center for Thai students who want to learn English so that they may pass the English entrance test and attend MUIC. My bosses are both Thai women in their mid-twenties, but I was never invited to hang out with them outside of work or thought that they enjoyed my presence a great deal until a couple months ago, after knowing them for 6 months.

One of them, Ploy, invited me to her graduation from her master’s, (me being invited was a huge honor), and after I attended I invited them to my birthday celebration a couple weeks later. Each time we have gotten to know each other more, and I am now starting to understand why they were not so forward with me when we first met: in Thai culture, people put a great deal of emphasis on trusting and knowing someone before telling them their true feelings. This can be both a good and bad thing, as it can lead to people being very shy and maybe not being completely honest, but also leading to friends who you know will always care about you. I will be leaving next week, so they treated me to the biggest Thai dinner I have ever seen, and gave me a few pictures to remember them by, opening up to me and talking about aspects of Thai and Western cultures that they don’t like, which they have never discussed with me before.

It is through these friends I have made in Thailand that I have been able to be honest with myself, and acknowledge the person that I was before I came and the person that I am now. Often at home, people are so self-motivated without thinking of their friends and families first. I can see this in myself, especially, and it used to make me sad because I felt that I spent more time working or being selfish than putting those close to me first. I have learned how to trust others, how to trust myself, and the universe by putting positive energy from the inside outwards; you cannot change the world around you until you manifest light in yourself first and foremost. It is increasingly important to recognize personal light and ability to bring light to others in a world that is in need of selflessness.