As the end of 2016 was nearing a close, the election became a larger focus to everyone here in the United States. The “World” was watching the United States to see if history would be made with the first Woman President or if the first President would be a successful civilian Businessman with no political experience. I wish I was able to say that this did not have an affect on my dream of the “Get Related World” Project being a reality or failure.
Each day as I would connect with all forms of media and see the mud slinging between the candidates dividing the country to the racial slurs online and offline; my own inner concerns took center stage of what this would mean for my life, family, friends and future. I almost allowed the news to affect my subconscious daily and take me off the path of our “Get Related World” Project that I was committed to with all my heart. Why? Well, as a woman with a family, and responsible for being a part of our group, already feeling pressed for time personally and professionally, a sudden reality I had pushed aside to the outer corners of my mind came rushing in; what will life be like when I am older? Will I have to work in my old age? Will there be enough money to put my future children through college; is technology distorting our thinking; will healthcare be affordable for the middle class or exist at all, etc.? My family members will of course grow older and someday leave this planet. It was like I was seeing through the LENS of worry.
As a woman who has always known what she wanted, I felt ungrounded and unsure of my direction. People began to protest as the election went on, and I found myself in a space questioning what I should do. I realized that it was time to follow my own advisement I had given to others . To be still, pray and meditate. To be determined to stay focused on my commitment, instead of the disconnection that was beginning to come closer and closer to my doorway. A disconnection where I would experience one day a woman from another country stating that Americans will soon learn what Germany once learned in the 1940’s, a totalitarian government was best.
In another instance, the day, I watched a man state to a woman who was African-American she was not an American. As I overheard him saying this, I watched her shoulders drop as if her self-esteem had fallen to the floor, and then watch her muster the courage to share, “We are all Americans, and that if we look at America in this way, he, too was not an American because he was not a Native Indian. Wondering when did we become so emboldened as a country of people to show a lack of respect and be condescending to one another in such a deliberate manner. These incidents and more, began to affect my mind subconsciously as well, and I did not even realize it put me in a state of almost perpetual fear.
Then it occurred; one our group members, who is a college student, was part of a protest leading up to the election. As they shared their experience of what it was like to be in this protest and how they felt powerless as they watched an innocent man be arrested who wasn’t even part of the protest; I realized they were quite shaken by the incident and the fighting over words they were continuously hearing in the news by both candidates running for President.
What the “World” was watching of my country also became my own Reality TV Screen. The difference is that it was playing out in real life; my life, and much too close for comfort. I had to look within myself, and it took some time. I had to disconnect and realize that if I worried about these things, my current actions to what I was listening to, would paralyze my own growth. Now that sounds great from an intellectual point of view. Having experienced a protest through our group member almost finding themselves arrested, allowed me to look through their LENS of FEAR. This is where I realized it matched my own LENS of FEAR. Although they were in college and I was out of college, we had the same concerns. What is the future? And now, months later, here in 2017, I have gone through the trajectory of my own fears, concerns and insecurities. Yes, what the world is going through, I also went through. But what I realized is if I were to die tomorrow, I would not want my life to amount to be remembered as: Oh here lies this woman full of fear, and she never reached her fullest potential.
Now in 2017, one thing is clear; we all have dreams, and its up to us if they become a reality I can’t control the future, but I will choose and create my own future. I realized that my faith in God, a higher power, and love of myself sustains me. And that combined with good friends, family and colleagues, gives me all the love I need. What is most important is I never lose the love of who I am, patience and the good I see in Humanity.
I still wonder sometimes how we will navigate the waters with our “Get Related World” Project and today’s world affairs. Instead though, I choose to focus my commitment with our group and the one care that if we make a little difference, share the joys and solutions of the best parts of the world, we have fulfilled our commitment and a vision together that is personal for each of us.
Using the phrase from Oprah, “What I Know For Sure”, is that we are all connected no matter what we experience. And we are all interdependent of one another, which makes us ONE. The illusion is that we are Disconnected.
Remember FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real.